Tuesday 3 July 2007

OUR VIEW

Thought I'd stop the mad writer for a moment to order him to take a picture of the view of the Fish Tank with Kip and Soot, just for you. It's not as sharp as it could be because we rodents have delicate eyes and he's banned from using the flash.


Look carefully and you can just about make out Sooty on the top right hand corner. He's still staring at the mad writer.

KIPPER'S UP

Across the room from our cage is a massive fish tank. It is the home of Kipper, a sandy-coloured gerbil, and Sooty, who, as you might imagine, is a black-coloured gerbil. Sooty's watching the mad writer at his desk. You'd think he had something important to put down on his computer screen by the way Sooty staring at him. We can't be bothered with all this writing business. The sound of him tap-tapping away at the keys all day and all night can get on our nerves. Kipper though is in a world of his own. Their cage is packed with toys. It's so big that it's even got a spaceship at one end. There's a wooden bridge that could come out of some adventure film and loads of bedding. They have different bedding to us because we need something more substantial. We also don't like dust so the stuff comes by special delivery.

BLUEBELL AND THE CUSHION

Bluebell lurked under the cushion this morning while we three played on top. Great trick, great game. She's managed to turn it upside down which is some achievement considering it's five times the length of her body. Well done, Bluebell. I've not mentioned my sister before by name. She's got black stripes and is a little bit bigger than me. However, she's very shy but is now starting to come out of her shell.

Monday 2 July 2007

TOILET ROLLS

WE ARE SURPRISED. Our human's just come back with some more chewy things. These are the rolls that hold toilet paper, or should that be lavatory paper? Our human's friend was shocked to see her enter the building. These rolls are from GIANTS! THEY'RE MASSIVE. How big a backside have these people got? I'm going to wake up the rest of the girls. We'll be chewing from now until Xmas. These rolls are twice the length of a long human laid upon the ground. Guess we ought to share with the gerbils.

Sunday 1 July 2007

EARLY ACTIVITY

We're all up early this First of the Month Sunday since our human has a long day today at her place of work. Jaz has been munching away in the top tube. I've been washing my face in the water bowl. Our human's had a second brew. Now we're moving the tissues and bedding back up to the top. We love doing this.

Saturday 30 June 2007

Harry's Awake

An early morning for our human. We've decided to store loads of food on the bunk bed. She's off to work for more than twelve hours and we're left with the useless writer boy. Ah, Sooty the gerbil's woken up again and is sharpening his teeth on the metal link holding his top platform in place. Why do gerbils do this? It doesn't half make a noise, especially during the daylight hours when we rats are all trying to get a bit of shut-eye.

Thursday 28 June 2007

Sleepy.

The bedding's come out of the tube and we're all sleeping. It's sitting on the top tray. You can see that further down the posts. We're not really sleeping, just having a nice relax in the yellow sputnik. Our human's friend is watching the television news about some rats in Westminster. Apparently they've all changed jobs. Can't say we give a damn. I suppose he'll get bored and turn the stuff off. Hope so.

Wednesday 27 June 2007

TIDY AGAIN


Five hours later and we've tidied everything up. The human's friend has been trying to find where it's all gone. Look in the TUBE.

COMFY


We've put all the comfy stuff at the top again. Massive operation at about four in the morning. All four of us were needed to drag the tissue paper up to the top. Now there's just me sleeping soundly on it, having flattened the paper so that it's really comfortable.

Tuesday 26 June 2007

TOPSY TURVY

Our human was shocked this morning at the state of our cage. The lid of the blue sputnik was on the floor. The rest of the sputnik was where she put it, on the top platform. The bedding, a substantial amount of the bedding, was on the top platform. We had to carry it all the way up to the top. That was some job. The floor outside the cage was splattered with more pieces of bedding. Now we're all together in the tube sleeping on top of each other, our favourite pastime. All is quiet.

Monday 25 June 2007

JOKE

Our human's just cracked a joke. What do you get if you cross a gerbil with a rat? Answer: a gerat or a rabil. Oh, she's just rebuked the boy. Apparently it's NOT a joke.

NEW WEEK

The start of a brand new week with the cage properly cleaned out. Our human took the whole lot to bits and scrubbed up in the bath. We were temporarily housed in our other cage, the one the human wants to stick on top of the one we're already in. It's a skyscraper, or will be when it's erected. She's sawed her way through the bars and put a door on the top in readiness for the day when we get our double cage. We could take the piss by doing what Harry has done with his double cage -- gnaw the bars all day and night! Only kidding. We're far more intelligent and do appreciate the effort she goes to in order to keep us amused, not to mention well watered and well fed.

Sunday 24 June 2007

Who needs toys?

Harry has now got, one for one, the largest selection of toys in this animal kingdom. So, what, you might ask, does he play with most? Answer: the bars of his upper cage. Why? We rats use the bars to clamber up to the heights to find the top toys. Gerbils don't have this ability. Everyday we get bigger and bigger. I can see why gerbils are snacks for us rats. Wouldn't take long to munch one down. We'd never hear the end of it from our human. Forget eating rocket, we'd get a rocket. The human was working late last night and we woke up to have fun with her. Now we're all taking it easy. SURPRISE. Harry must have a special sense allowing him to read my thoughts. He's gone all quiet.

Saturday 23 June 2007

Our Human and Her Camera

If you don't like the picture of me, both of them, that are on this website, don't despair. It turns out that our human has taken quite a few of us with her expensive camera and most of them are not blurred. Our human's friend is blushing, since he thought he was ace with a camera. Although, to be fair, he's not used the flash to freeze our movements since our eyes are extremely sensitive to light. Watch this space.

Thursday 21 June 2007

THE MONSTER ARRIVES

What's that BIG MONSTER doing in the cage? We rats have a fear of new things and now we've got something to be scared about. It's a massive wheel that our human has bought specially for us. None of us know what to do with it. So we're filling it with bedding to make it smell like it's been here for ages. This morning, our human put some food inside it. Only Bluebell dared enter, and then only for seconds.

Wednesday 20 June 2007

SPOKE TOO SOON

Published that post and Harry hit the wheel. Is it something to do with the connection between the computer keyboard keys? That'll be him for the next few hours.

SILENCE

We're taking over the noise area at the moment. The human's friend went to bed in a huff last night, exhausted and without eating his meal of home-cooked hot chilli. He got up two hours later and wolfed down two plates worth of the stuff. We're happy he's a bit more relaxed this morning and also happy that Harry seems to be sleeping. We didn't think he did sleep.

Tuesday 19 June 2007

Quiet Night

A very-dark-just-before-new moon night in which we played a little and Harry played a lot. Quelle surprise. He's gonna wake the neighbours. Either that, or they gonna think they've got mice. A lovely sunny day despite the red sky at 4 this morning. I thought Red Sky in the Morning meant Shepherds' Warning - lot of rain. Or was 4 in the morning still part of Red Sky at Night? I've looked at my pictures but can't make much of them. We rats don't have very good eyesight. Not that our human's partner is overly bothered. He has fiddled about with the facts in his writing of The Dark Kingdom in which a rat plays a major part, giving one of our number excellent sight and the ability to see the colour Red rather than the colour Green. Is this what writers' do? Make up stuff.

Monday 18 June 2007

WE ALL GO MAD FOR TEA

Poppy here again, folks. We all went mad for tea today since it was our favourite, rocket. Our human had to chop up some more since I grabbed the lot and took it off to my tea-towel to eat in peace.


Then, for afters, we had some cheese. It was lovely. Then our human's friend took a picture of me. Actually, he took a hundred since I kept moving around. Tee hee.

Sunday 17 June 2007

PINE - WE'RE PINING FOR IT

The human says it's got PINE in it so we rats can't have them. Go Harry, enjoy!

Saturday 16 June 2007

WRONG, WRONG, WRONG

How WRONG can you be? That lovely wooden hut lying on the floor in front of our cage is NOT OURS!!! It's bleedin' 'Arry's. Can you believe it! What's Harry got that we four girls have not? I'm also starting to worry about what she's feeding him. We're all fast asleep, or at least pretending to be, while Harry's munching away like a mad dog.

Friday 15 June 2007

NEW CAGE

Harry is well happy. His new cage has certainly quietened him down. Maybe he's exhausted from all that climbing up into the top layer and running around with his new toys. I spy with my little eye some toys upon the floor. If they're not in Harry's cage and they're not in Sooty and Kip's cage and they're not in Nutmeg's cage then they've got to be for us. Our cage is well full of toys. Did I mention that? Our human's really good to us. She came in really late last night after a long shift, but despite all that, managed to go to Tesco to get us more fresh food. Pity all rats don't have such a caring human.

Thursday 14 June 2007

QUIET NIGHT!

Judging by the state the human was in last night she wouldn't have woken if a nuclear bomb had gone off. I suppose none of us would, come to think of that. We're happy with Harry. He's been a very quiet little gerbil and it's rather touching that he's gone from being either unwanted and unloved, or too much of a handful, to being cared for by a loving human. His new cage is really quite spectacular. Nutmeg, the third older gerbil, is now further away from Harry. That's good for both of them.

Wednesday 13 June 2007

TOYS!!!

She's just come into our room and pointed out to the useless boy that they get a Sputnik, which, for those of you who know nothing about rats, is a dome that hangs from the ceiling that all of us can get inside. How many Sputniks does a baby gerbil need?

CRISIS

CRISIS. It's got two clingy bits that can't grip 'cos of a massive piece of glass in the fish tank it's going onto. That'll learn her. Oh now, the stupid boy's been called to help. And he's taken off the clingy bits. Now she's reattached them elsewhere. A moment of pleasure sadly ruined. What's the world coming to? And guess what? Sooty and Kipper - TWO OTHER GERBILS - are fixated. They are gnashing their teeth. So am I. Nothing for it. I'm off to join my sisters in bed.

Oi - HANG ON, HUMAN

What on earth's going on? Much as we welcomed Harry the Rescue Gerbil into our home there is a limit, you know. Our human, and I stress the word OUR, came home with a cage. Not just any old cage but a massive cage - 12 inches by 30 inches and about 15 inches high. All for HARRY! One night of disturbed sleep, he gets a new wheel. Actually, he gets OUR old wheel. A week of banging his toys into the cage and thus into the thin wall beside her bedroom and he gets a NEW CAGE. I think it's time to have a conference with my sister, Bluebell, and the twins, Jaz and Gipsy. Anything you can do, Harry, we can do better. She's got the nerve to put the whole thing together in our room. OUR ROOM. The other three have gone to bed in disgust. I'm monitoring the goings on from the bottom of the cage. She even rang the boy to get his permission to spend £50 on it. She asked HIM for money advice. Has the world gone mad? As the Derbyshire fancy rats say at times like these: R We Reet, or What? She's just told the boy, in our presence, that it's suitable for 4 to 5 gerbils. The cheek of it. Best get some sleep. I think we all ought to go into action at five am. I know she also hates being woken up. Let's see if we can get the useless boy to blame her. Tee Hee.

SO CLEAN

Our human blitzed the cages last night. I think she felt a bit guilty. Sooty and Kipper's log had been left out all day. Not that her man would have noticed. He's dead dim in rat and gerbil areas. The couple of gerbils didn't seem to mind. We all rather like the sound of him typing away like mad during the day. With the curtains closed it could be night, but since it wasn't, we weren't up for any running around. She filled two bags of dirty bedding. Soot and Kip are watching the writer. They've got a ledge on which they sit and stare. Our human's opened our cage and is dishing out treats and talking to us. Wonder if there's time to get into her sleeve and be walked around? Might even escape for a couple of hours. Oh heck, can't be bothered and I don't want her pissed off when she has to rush to work. I think that's the case today since the bath's already been run.

Tuesday 12 June 2007

FED AND WATERED

We are all fed and watered early today as our human has an early start. She watched a film yesterday and there was a trailer about an upcoming film starring a cartoon rat. Later she was concerned about the effect such a film might have on our friends. We don't want to end up like the turtles did after the Ninja stuff nor the Dalmatians. We need proper looking after not being swept up and used for a few weeks as though we were all Big Brother contestants.

Monday 11 June 2007

FAST ASLEEP, AGAIN

Only Sooty the gerbil is up at the moment. He's cleaning his teeth on the metal wire holding his upper ledge in place. The rest of us are quiet, including, believe it or not, young newcomer Harry. Peace, blessed peace.

Curly Kale

We love Curly Kale. Guess we had better do. Since this is the only staple food the human provides us with, although she makes sure it is not off and is properly cleaned. She's been round several supermarkets and they sell the stuff when it's turning yellow, and not in the cheapo section, either. Ain't that a shame. By the way, that's a great song, done brilliantly by The Beatles, before they became famous.

Sunday 10 June 2007

FOUR IN THE AFTERNOON

It's four in the afternoon and all is quiet. The sun's come up, the wind's dropped and we are all fast asleep. EVEN HARRY! My human is working on her Open University essay. Even the flies have gone home to bed for the afternoon. Isn't that nice of them?

HARRY, AGAIN!

Harry is the most active of all of us. He is making a lot of noise this morning and has been doing for several hours. I am beginning to see why he became a rescue gerbil. It could be he was too much to handle for his previous humans. It could also be that they kept him in too small a cage and that having one large cage connected to one smaller cage is giving him a lot of friendly freedom. Good luck to him. Our human is considering adding a second cage above the one we've already got. That ought to be a lot of fun. She's still checking all the food in the chat-rooms to make sure she doesn't give us something that'll be harmful. Isn't she good to us?

Saturday 9 June 2007

10.15

This time we are all fast asleep. Heck, we're rats, and a few gerbils we can't get our teeth into since the human loves them just as much as us, such is life. We're all listening to a bit of George Michael. Guess we are also asleep. He's a great singer but we prefer John Lennon and Bob Dylan. Well, why not, we've been trained by the human's man.

GETTING TO GRIPS WITH HARRY

I should tell you that Harry is a rescue gerbil. So we don't know how well or how badly he was treated as a littl'un. All we do know is that he loves to roam. Yesterday evening our human opened his cage, he jumped out onto the floor and made a beeline for the exit. She caught him just in time. Last night his wheel was removed, to avoid waking the neighbours and the human's friend. But he still made a racket. By the way, he's got a substitute wheel. It's still noisy but nowhere near as bad as the previous one. He's a happy little thing and now has two cages to play in. I bet he was not as well off in his previous home.

Friday 8 June 2007

NOISY HARRY

A terribly noisy night from our new gerbil friend, Harry. This caused ructions at 4 am with the human's male friend unable to sleep. Harry was whizzing round on his wheel almost non-stop. It was making so much noise the neighbours were in danger of being woken up. Eventually our human had to do something about it, under pressure. Harry's wheel was dismantled. However, that is only a temporary measure. It's up and running once again. We're all rather hoping that our human follows the advice of her dad and dismantles the wheel every night.

Wednesday 6 June 2007

LITTLE HARRY

Our neighbour in the corridor is Harry the rescue gerbil. He's well at home here and has even started scaring the daylights out of old Nutmeg who had to be moved away from Kipper and Sooty after he started attacking them, his human and his human's mum. Harry's got a wheel, so have we but we don't use it. Harry uses his from mid-evening until about midnight. His favourite trick is to spin it so loud you think an aircraft is landing on the roof, and then jump off. We can't see this but we sure can hear it. I think one of the humans is getting a little bit annoyed. But he's not Chief Human so that's neither here nor there.

Tuesday 5 June 2007

SLEEPING

We're all sleeping at the moment. Our human is not due back until nearly midnight so we are getting a bit of shut-eye until she arrives. Our human's friend is washing and drying our playthings. Don't we get looked after well? Even the gerbils, our little snacks!, are having a snooze. Pity about these cages, eh?

Sunday 3 June 2007

PEACE

We're all fast asleep. I was out the cage like a shot this morning but only got to the top before my human brought me back inside. She's off to work soon and needed to feed us and bathe herself, plus have a brew and a sarnie. I think she's caught on. I'll have to be more clever about escaping in the future, although, as she's a good human, I'm not planning to stress her out when she's got other commitments. These do bring us all the goodies such as the toys and the food, in addition to the massive cage.

Saturday 2 June 2007

SADNESS

My human was rather sad yesterday afternoon. She visited the garden centre and saw that our twin brothers and dad were still there, much bigger and all hugging one another. They don't have much room to play in, although, to be fair, the males of our species don't run about as much as the females. She wants to bring them home with her. Obviously they can't share our cage but they can have their own. They're much bigger than we are but they have no ropes to play on, no big space within the cage to run around in, no treats, no kurly cale for breakfast, no special hiding places, no wheels and swings and tea towels to jump in and out and onto and no boxes of tissues to play with as we are doing at the moment.

Friday 1 June 2007

FREEDOM!

Last night my human took me out, through the long tube, into a special area in the lounge created by fencing off the middle with cardboard and hardboard. Tee hee. I got away. She took an hour to find me. Once I was back inside the cage I had a sip of water, nibbled a nut and then looked soulfully out at her through the front bars. She fell for it. A few minutes later she took me out again. Guess what, I did the same thing. I'll have to think up a new trick for tonight. Such fun, being a pet rat.

Thursday 31 May 2007

From Plate to Bin

Oh dear, my human's friend binned my meal. She was not pleased. Indeed, she had a minor sulk. But then she remembered us and cut a bit more roast pork, peas and broccoli. All of the food is well washed. She's good to us is our human.

WE COULD HAVE TOLD YOU THAT

Honestly, don't people use their senses? A newspaper article today reveals researchers findings that pets have different personalities. Any pet lover care to disagree? Really, I ask you. We pets know we are different. You don't need George Orwell to tell you that you just need to observe us at home. Is the Pope still a Catholic?

ALL IS QUIET

My human has just got up. She had a big pork meal last night cooked by her friend. She also bought one round of drinks too many. That's why she's been sleeping. She's wide awake now and enjoying her week off. She's talking to us but we're really all terribly sleepy. My name is Poppy and I'm the only one awake. The newest inhabitant of our home is Harry. He's a gerbil and so he's in a different cage. Some of us rats look on gerbils as tasty snacks. Our human is not going to risk something untoward happening. We're supposed to be pets. Have a good day, everyone.

Wednesday 30 May 2007

My Home

I live in a big cage with my sister and two friends. Their names are Bluebell, Gypsy and Jaz. Gypsy and Jaz are twins. We all love living here. We drink soya milk, water and have lots of toys to play with. We like eating holes in some of them. Tee Hee.

Right Now

Right now I'm playing on the carpet. My human friend is hoping I will not hide for long this time. The other day I really pissed her about. I hid behind all the settees, chairs, books and would not come out. I just fancied a bit more playtime than she had bargained for. Well, really. Why not? I was out for hours. You ought to have seen the things she had to do to persuade me to go back inside my cage. We've got Bob Dylan on Radio 2 on the broadband playback. Love his voice although my human is not so impressed. She thinks he's putting it on. Anyway, we're not going there. I really can't be bothered with revisiting 60s discussions on the value of Dylan's voice. Wow -- he's just going to play Hoagy Carmichael. Things can only get better.

Meet Me

Hello websurfers. My name is Poppy. I should have a picture on this blog very soon. And then some, tee hee.
I am a fancy rat. Yes, a rat. But not one of those creatures roaming around the garbage cans beside your home. Poor things. So misunderstood. As for myself, well I'm lucky. I'm a clean little girl with a wonderful human always looking after me.